


Come be Lonely with Me

by OfTheVoid



Category: The Haunting of Bly Manor (TV)
Genre: Friendship, Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-15
Updated: 2020-11-15
Packaged: 2021-03-09 20:33:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,275
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27582094
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OfTheVoid/pseuds/OfTheVoid
Summary: Dani and Owen share a quiet heart to heart in front of the unlit fireplace.
Comments: 6
Kudos: 21





	Come be Lonely with Me

**Author's Note:**

> I've been sitting on this for 3 weeks because I wanted to make sure it was a smooth enough read. Hopefully y'all like it! Title is from "This side of Paradise" by Coyote Theory

Dani sat by the unlit fireplace, exhausted from her long day of chasing after the children, and sipped idly at a glass of wine. Jamie wasn't to return for 2 more moons at least, and Owen's visits had grown sparse in the days since his mother's death. Not that she could blame him, he had enough on his plate without having to fuss over them and their kitchen related needs. 

The days weren't all that bad, really. She simply put her time and effort into keeping the young ones occupied and helping them work through disagreements, Lord knew there were enough to fill a lifetime. No, the days were quite alright in the grand scheme of things. It was the nights that drained her the most, the au pair thought. The nights, when she had no distractions from the thoughts and images that wouldn't leave her well enough alone. 

Once only a dull reminder of what she had lost, now also an aching regret for the opportunity it had robbed her of. She hadn't seen those heartbreaking headlights in a single mirror since she, drunk and desperate, discarded his glasses into the fire. And in that moment, they were nothing but a pile of bones to be burned. A humble acceptance of shadows long gone, of sorrows now to bear, and of regrets surely to come. Like Jamie had said only hours before. 

Oh, Jamie. Distant but stable, rooted in place as if she'd been there right from the start. Dani's thoughts so easily strayed in the absence of guilt, hazel eyes decorated by a gentle unwavering smile taking up residence in the aftermath of shame. The au pair had not been prepared to find something that felt so...certain when she applied for this job. She expected one summer, nothing more, nothing so...serendipitous. 

"You alright, there?" Dani was pulled from her reverie over the gardener by the gentle lull of a familiar voice. Softer and less enthusiastic than usual, but still the same comforting tone as always. A small, tired grin tugged at her lips as she turned to face him. "Owen! What are you doing here? It's late." 

Sheepish consideration passed his features and he shrugged, wandering over to settle into the opposite side of the couch as her. "Truthfully, I came to sit alone in a house that wasn't quite so… empty." His voice was more drawn now, tight with the effort not to cry and Dani's heart broke for her friend all over again. It was like watching him give his speech at the bonfire, but in a single solitary sentence uttered over the sound of silence. "The door was unlocked, but when no one answered my knocking I assumed you had just forgotten." With a sidelong glance that betrayed his fatherly nature, Owen then asked, "What  _ are _ you doing awake?" 

Dani's smile was fond, but still ever so distant, as she chuckled under her breath and turned her attention back to the silent fireplace. "Well…I guess I've been a bit restless at night lately." She admitted, deciding this honesty thing could be a two way street for now. 

"Peaceful countryside not keeping the skeletons away?" He asked, a look of deep understanding in his eyes when she turned to meet them again. "I know. It gets so quiet...only makes it easier to hear them rattling about." 

Dani took in a shaky breath as she clenched her teeth, once again reminded of her burden. "Yeah. Actually…, that's exactly it." And it was true. She took a long swig of her wine and shook her head. "But that's not really important right now." A look passed across Owen's face, as if he would argue, but she continued before he could cut in. "How are you?" The question was simple, yet genuine. It struck him how much it seemed she really wanted to know. "You haven't been around much - which of course is fine, you need space and I get it - but… I just wanna make sure that you're not-…" A flash of Eddie's shadowy figure danced across her imagination. "-trying to take it on alone." 

The way she said it betrayed a kind of experience in the field, but he decided to press the issue later. "I'm not really sure quite yet." He replied, brows turned down in confusion or… guilt. The au pair couldn't quite decide. "She's not coming back." Dani felt his words like knives, twisting into her. No. They were  _ never _ coming back. No matter how desperately their loved ones wished it. "I shouldn't be relieved."

She watched his jaw clench and had to look away, feeling her own guilt settle deep into her bones. "Maybe not. But it's never that simple, is it?" She wasn't looking at him, but he couldn't take his eyes off her. She'd been distant at the bonfire, unwilling to speak on the bones rattling about her closet but now she just looked so vulnerable. So tired, empty and cold to the core. Her fingers trembled around the wine glass, disrupting its contents as she nibbled anxiously at the edge of her nail. 

"Are  _ you _ alright?" Asked Owen, with half a mind to reach for her hand in the hopes it would give her something to hold on to. But he didn't want to confuse her over his intentions. "And don't you lie to me, we both know you're not subtle enough for that." 

Dani laughed then. Muffled by the effort not to cry, though genuine all the same. "God, no." She said, biting down on her bottom lip to control the onslaught of emotions. It didn't work. "I don't think I have been for a long time." 

Owen leaned back into the cushions, as if settling in for a story. "Well...you know about my great loss. And it seems I've got nothing but time on my hands tonight."

Dani speculated. She asked herself what the harm would be. But then, she knew. The vulnerability hurt enough on its own. But the honesty on top of that? Even kissing Jamie wasn't enough to calm that demon. And all she'd wanted for weeks was to kiss Jamie. 

"Hey." Owen whispered, setting a hand on her knee. He gave it a single squeeze and startled her out of her stupor. She looked at him, and he was pleased by the faint resilience he saw in her eyes. "No pressure. But at the same time….no judgement. Everyone here knows death is messy." 

Dani chewed thoughtfully on the inside of her cheek, but she accepted his reassurance and decided a few small details wouldn't hurt. She could paint the picture carefully, pick and choose the things she did and didn't say. 

So she did. She told him they were best friends. From age ten and up, all the way until...she couldn't love him. Until the end. The worst day of her life. She told him about sitting in the waiting room and preparing for the worst. About the guilt she carried for not returning his feelings, for ultimately causing the accident that took her best friend away from her. That ripped his family apart. That destroyed her, emotionally and mentally. 

She told him about the mirrors, the argument, but not the truck or the headlights. Not about the engagement, or the seamstress, or the admission. She didn't tell him that Eddie almost got everything he always wanted. That she took it away and then he died. She couldn't bear that. Not here, in front of the cold empty fireplace, sipping a glass of wine next to a man she hardly knew with his own grief to carry around like an anchor. It would only drag them both down. 

"And then I fled. I...I just ran away." She laughed at her own ridiculousness, wiping a streak of tears off her wet cheek. "I ran away and got a job in another country, on another...continent...taking care of someone else's kids." 

"Of course you did." Owen replied matter-of-factly. "Had I been in your shoes, I-...well, I reckon I would have done far worse." Dani downed the rest of her wine, unable to respond. "Jamie was right, you know." 

The sudden mention of the grounds keeper sent a jolt through Dani's whole body.

"About what?" She asked, voice soft and ragged with emotion as confusion colored her cheeks further. 

"You  _ are _ stronger than you think, Miss Clayton." He said, smiling fondly at her in that way only Owen truly could. "And we're all so incredibly lucky to have you around. Especially those wee gremlins upstairs." Dani's laughter was wet, and filled with anxiety. But it cleared some welling insecurity in her, and for the first time in a long time she felt at peace. 

"Well, since we talked about me for so long I think it's only fitting we return to the topic at hand." She said, hitting him with a look that so painfully reminded him of his mother. "Because I have a feeling that you didn't actually come here to be alone." 

Owen sighed as he begrudgingly averted his gaze, shaking his head at himself for thinking he could just avoid the subject so easily. "You are an observant one." He said, stroking his mustache if only for something to do with his hands as the feeling of uneasiness set in. 

Dani chuckled again and handed him the bottle of wine she'd barely touched. "You can't hide from me, I know what grief does. How it hollows you out."

Owen mimicked her weathered sigh and, after a moment, took the bottle and threw back a hefty swig of the deep red liquid. "I'm gonna have to let her go." He paused for a long moment, and Dani almost thought he wouldn't continue. "The...the her that...wasn't already gone."

"Yes." Dani replied softly. 

"I don't want to." His voice broke as he said the words, shaking his head as if admitting to it was the final straw. Tears ran down his face and she felt as if she was watching him crumble before her. 

"Hey," Dani moved closer and rubbed his back gently. "Do you remember what Flora said, at dinner?" 

Owen thought for a moment. Flora had said a lot of things at dinner. But one of those things stuck out to him now. "Dead doesn't mean gone." 

"That's right." Dani smiled softly and gave his shoulder a squeeze, much like the comforting gesture he'd offered her earlier. "Even when you can't see her, she's here. And when you let her go, when you're finally ready to say goodbye, she'll be here still. In your heart, and your memory." 

Owen took a long moment to process what she said. Another large sip of the wine and a few sullen tears later and he was letting the tension out on another long breath. "You're right." 

The au pair simply shrugged, her kind smile returning. "Until then, you can just hold onto her." She promised with an err of certainty. 

"You don't think it'll hold me back?" He asked with an inquisitive tone. 

Dani scoffed at that and shook her head. "Of course not. She's your mother. Loving and cherishing her memory while you're still healing will make her so proud. She'll know she was loved by you." 

And the au pair was right. His mother would be proud. She would be proud that he stuck through the thick of it, all the way until the end. Proud that he loved her unconditionally every step of the way. And she would love him back. 

The atmosphere slowly began to ease around them. They settled into some casual, friendly chatter after the heavy discussions. How the children were, what strange things they'd been getting up to, all the odd things the grounds had to offer. It was nice. She felt somehow light in a way she hadn't since she was young. Since before… well… 

"Perhaps I should get home and try to get some more sleep. This has been quite a pleasant few hours, though." 

Dani glanced at her own watch in shock and then laughed again, lighter this time. "Wow, I hadn't even noticed the time passing." 

"Yeah, that tends to happen here at Bly." Owen says, taking a moment to fully appreciate the tapestry and walls as he stood. "Don't get too out of sorts, you've still got to get  _ some _ sleep when I leave." He pointed an accusatory finger her way, but his tone was playful. 

Dani smiled as she stood, and Owen was quick to offer one of his warm inviting hugs. He really was a sweet man. The housekeeper was lucky to hold the key to his heart, even if she didn't know it. "I promise I'll get some sleep." She said as he leveled her a stern look from the other side of the front door. Owen tilted his head with a chuckle. "Goodbye for now, Dani Clayton. I hope things start looking up. You've earned a bit of light in your life, surely." And she had, Dani thought. The kind of light that wasn't so blinding. Maybe, if she was lucky, even the kind that was quick and funny and all the more Jamie shaped than the last. 

"So have you." Dani returned the gesture, waving him off and closing the door behind him. This sudden visit from the cook had left her with a lot to think about. But for now, she really was eager to retire to her bed and get that rest she'd been lacking so terribly. If she could, that was. 


End file.
